


I Love You

by ghostlygarage (orphan_account)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 18:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11213739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ghostlygarage
Summary: No matter how much Frank hates himself for it, he always says it back.





	I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sad so i wrote sad things

“I can’t do this.” 

A half-sober Gerard looked down at an also half-sober Frank, who was on his knees in front of him. “‘S okay, Frankie. You just gotta suck it.” Gerard comforted, but that wasn’t what Frank meant. He stood up, stumbling some at the sudden shift but catching himself. 

“I don’t mean it like that,” Frank sighed, reaching for the bathroom stall door. He saw Gerard widen his eyes out of his peripheral vision.

“No, Frankie, please! Come back,” he whined, reaching out for Frank’s arm. “C’mon, I love you.” 

The last part caught Frank’s ears, making his face heat up and his heart skip a beat. “Love you, too.” he murmured as he took his hand off the door, turning back to Gerard. The drunk man grinned and kissed Frank, but it just didn’t feel right. 

\--

Frank was laying on the couch, an arm thrown across his eyes and his eyes closed. The bus was peaceful, for everybody else had left to go to some hangout with the other bands. Frank wasn’t in the mood to look Bert McCracken in the eye and pretend to like him. He was never in the mood for that anymore. 

He heard someone enter the bus, assuming it was Gerard. The footsteps were inconsistent, so he was probably drunk again. Frank noticed how quick the footsteps were, catching his attention. The sound of someone moaning filled his ears, so he moved his arm and sat up, catching sight of- 

“Oh.” 

There were two people, and Frank immediately knew who they were. At the sound of Frank’s voice, Bert and Gerard turned around, hair and clothes disarrayed. Gerard’s face heated up and Bert awkwardly smiled. 

“Hey, Frank. Sorry for interrupting your nap-”

“It’s no problem, guys. I’ll leave.” Frank shrugged, getting up from the couch and heading to the door. They watched him until he shut the door, but he could hear them continue from outside. 

As Frank walked away from the bus, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. 

Later that night, right before they were due on stage, Gerard stopped Frank backstage. His long hair was greasy and he was dressed in his stage clothes. He was grinning wider than usual. “Thanks for not being weird about what happened.”

Frank felt his spine crawl at Gerard’s words, wanting to fold in half and die. “It’s cool. I don’t mind.” Frank assured with a smile, patting the taller man’s shoulder. Gerard’s pretty smile made Frank’s chest feel tight. 

“Thank you, Frankie.” Gerard said happily, hugging Frank tightly. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Frank whispered against Gerard’s neck as he squeezed Gerard even tighter.

\--

“Frank, please just tell me what’s wrong!” Gerard pleaded, his breath reeking of alcohol. For the first time, it seemed, Frank wished Gerard was sober. The shorter man turned away, wiping the hot tears off his cheeks.

“It’s nothing, it’s stupid.” Frank whispered, wishing Gerard would just go away. Gerard had encouraged Frank to go to a hangout with the other bands and some people he didn’t know, but the whole time, Gerard stood with Bert and not Frank. He eventually left to sit against one of the buses, not caring who's it was. After smoking a cigarette, he let a couple tears fall and then came Gerard. 

“It’s not stupid if you’re crying.” Gerard murmured, reaching out for Frank. He pulled himself away, the thought of Gerard touching him revolting. 

“My mom’s dog died. It’s fine.” Frank lied, crossing his arms and staring down at his shoes.

Gerard was quiet for a moment before muttering a quiet, “Oh. I’m sorry.” He felt the taller man rub his back comfortingly. “I know how much you love animals and stuff.”

“Please stop touching me,” Frank forced out shakily, beginning to pace away.

“Frank, come back!” Gerard called, but Frank didn’t bother. “I love you!” 

This time, Frank didn’t stop. 

\--

Gerard sighed when Frank turned his head. “Why won’t you let me kiss you?” 

“I’m not in the mood.” Frank uttered, though he wanted to kiss Gerard so badly. He’d made progress with distancing himself, but somehow he found himself agreeing to sharing a motel room with the man. Gerard sighed again and pulled away, sitting on one of the beds with a huff. 

“You’re never in the mood anymore.” Gerard muttered, glancing up at Frank disappointedly. 

“Because all I’m good for is making you cum, right?” Frank retorted, turning to rummage through his bag for pajama pants. “Why don’t you go ask Bert? He’s probably sniffing you out by now.”

“I don’t wanna ask him.” Gerard suddenly blurted. “I want you.” 

Frank felt his eyes burn as he paused, feeling Gerard’s eyes burning through him. He knew what was next.

“I love you, Frankie.” 

The guitarist hated himself for standing up and climbing in Gerard’s lap to kiss him. 

\-- 

“I love you-” Gerard began. 

“No you fucking don’t!” Frank nearly screamed, his chest and throat tight and his eyes on fire. He held his clenched fists against his temples as he held back tears, wishing the bus would roll over him. The two were standing behind the bus in the dead of night, smoking and talking. Of course, Frank hated it and wanted to go inside the whole time. 

“What do you mean?” Gerard asked, taken aback. Frank had so many responses flooding through his mind, but could only settle for the facts.

“You only say you love me when you want your dick down my throat. You only say you love me when you want sex, or you want a kiss, or some other goddamned thing!” Frank raged, jabbing Gerard’s chest with his forefinger with every crack of his damn heart. “And you don’t fucking mean it! You don’t....” Frank broke off into a fit of shaky sobs, sinking against Gerard’s chest weakly. 

He felt uncertain arms wrap around him, rubbing his back and whispering quiet hushes. “Of course I love you, Frank. I don’t lie.” 

“You’re lying now.” 

“No, I’m not, Frank.” Gerard assured, and Frank clenched his eyes and tried so so hard to believe it. But you can’t force yourself to believe something, especially when all the hope is gone. Frank continued to cry against Gerard’s shirt, melting in the grasp. 

He kept trying to believe.

But after years of being lead on, years of Gerard using Frank and assuring him it meant something were taking a toll on Frank. He woke up every morning with a damn death wish, for fuck’s sake.

“I can’t do this.” Frank whimpered, pushing against Gerard’s chest to separate them. Gerard stumbled backwards, catching himself on the outside of the bus. 

“Frank-”

“I need to stop. Why can’t I fucking stop?” Frank asked himself aloud, tugging on his own hair as Gerard tried to comfort him. “Stop touching me!”

“Frank, stop.” Gerard quickly hushed as he pulled Frank close, but he was being pushed away again. Frank didn’t stop. 

“You stop! Stop fucking Bert! Stop treating me like a whore! Stop fucking l-lying to me!” Frank yelled, not bothering to wipe away his tears. He was pissed now. “You should’ve told me to stop every time I sucked your dick! You should’ve told me to stop every time I told you I loved you! You should’ve told me to stop when I joined this fucking band!” Frank’s knees buckled with weakness and he sank to the pavement, weakly turning to sit on his ass. He pulled up his knees and sobbed harder than before, his face tingling and his breathing erratic. 

He felt Gerard’s arms around him again, but he didn’t try to pull away. He didn’t feel angry anymore. In fact, he didn’t feel anything at all. “You sh-should’a fuckin’ t-t-told me-” 

“Calm down, baby. You’ll start hyperventilating.” Gerard soothed. Frank wanted to scream ‘don’t call me baby’, but he stayed silent and let himself be held by Gerard. “I love you.” he heard Gerard mumble.

Frank couldn't resist Gerard.

“I l-love you, too.”


End file.
